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Post by Doll on Mar 20, 2010 0:59:04 GMT -5
Doll sat on the edge of the roof, watching as the sunset. She couldn't help the pang of loneliness that went through her when she realized that most of the time she was on the roof she was with Spot. He was probably still down in Boston, at that meeting, but she still wished that he was there at the moment. She wondered that if he felt lonely too. Looking towards the water, she leaned back on her hands as she watched the last of the light dance off the reflection coming from the water. For some odd reason, it just reminded her of how things could be.
One moment here, the next, gone. Maybe it was because one moment that glimmer of light was over in one spot, then it was gone. Here was gone. That's how it felt to Doll, it felt like underneath her, the world was gone and she was falling. Falling hard, and would slam into the water's surface. Being in charge wasn't her plan, and all she could think of was just wanting the meeting to be done with. She wanted the meeting to be gone, so that way Spot could be home.
It was a selfish thought, she realized, and she felt ashamed that she had let herself feel like that. Doll knew that Spot had things to do, and that it was selfish of her to want him to be back, just so she wouldn't feel lonely and didn't have to be on the roof alone. Sure, being on the roof with Bear, Muse, Berlin or Jax was fine, heck she could handle Singer's company, but at the moment she just didn't want to be around any of them. Tired, and a bit cold, Doll felt like a gargoyle, perched on top of a building to protect it's home.
But of course, there was no way for her to truly protect her home. She didn't know how. The breeze came, and blew strands of her hair out of her face, feeling like a cold breath on her cheeks. Doll was never a fan of the cold, but it was what got her moving in the morning, because if you stood still you could become a popsicle. Looking back down, she realized that parts of the river would be very, very icy. How icy, she didn't know.
Doll wondered about ice skating.
How could people slide across ice, for fun? Memories from long ago came back. She was four, with her brother and father and they were on a ship, a cargo ship. Their father worked for the ship, and it had been very, very cold. The snow would stick in her hair and eyelashes, anywhere it wouldn't melt. It wasn't as cold as that memory from long ago, but it was still cold. Shivering, she rolled down the sleeves of her shirt and buttoned them up, as if the fabric would keep her warm.
It was too cold out to not wear shoes, so she had to deal with a pair she borrowed from Enya, who was a confident to her, someone that, besides Muse, she could talk to, someone who would listen, but not ask. Muse was Doll's best friend though, that would probably never change. But, Enya was closest in shoe size, so it would do. Doll hated shoes, they always felt uncomfortable, as if they would squeeze the life out of her toes, even though they were what was barely keeping them warm. Contemplating on whether or not to go inside, she stayed out.
Even though it was cold, the sunset felt like it would give her the last rays of warmth the sun could offer. At first, she didn't know why she was going to stay outside in the cold, but then she felt it. A snowflake. It was snowing. Closing her eyes, she felt each tiny snowflake that fell on her, each one cold. Right now, she didn't want to go inside. The cold would distract her from whatever loneliness she felt at the moment, it would freeze over whatever emotion that she didn't like.
But the cold still wouldn't freeze over the feeling of loneliness without Spot. How long had it been since she last saw him? Doll had lost count of the days, and it felt like it had been forever. How long was forever? Scolding herself mentally, she brought her mind elsewhere, but it all came back to the same person. Bringing her knees up to her chest for warmth, she rested her forehead on them, hot tears stinging against her cold cheeks. She cried silently, not caring if anyone watched her, not caring if anyone cared at all.
Though she did wish she heard who was behind her right then.
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Post by Spot on Mar 21, 2010 20:00:21 GMT -5
SpotSpot had just gotten back in from Boston. it had been a long day to say the least. He was tired. he was cold. It was crazy cold, freezing in Boston, and he had walked everywhere except for back to Brooklyn. He had gone on the roof for his relief. Because what was better than a roof. Roofs were relief. He always could escape from the roof, or escape to the roof. What was better than seclusion on a edge of the building. Spot was even thinking about jumping into the water, just to celebrate his homecoming.
And when he walked up, he expected to be alone.
But he saw her. She looked tired, and he couldn't even see her face. but it was the way her back was hunched, and position her arms were in. It was a place Spot was very familiar with. It was the posture of exhaustion. He had fallen into it a thousand times. It was his default mode. He fell into it every time he was alone. He didn't want his newsies to know. Doll was doing the exact same thing. It was sad. It tore his heart. He didn't want this to happen. He just needed a replacement.
He heard her crying as he approached slowly, he was quiet on his feet. He finally sat on teh edge. "Hey Dollface. I'm home." He looked at the tears on her face. What had he done? What did he do to his true love? Had he done what he had done to his mother?
Had he murdered another person. Was he really a monster?
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Post by Doll on Mar 21, 2010 20:44:43 GMT -5
Doll
Doll looked up, wiping her tears away, and watched as he sat down, "Hey Spot," she said, her voice cracking, "Missed you. How was the meeting?" That was all she could choke out at the moment. She adjusted how she sat, so her back was leaning against Spot's side. She pulled her knee up to her chest and looked down at it. Feeling a tad bit embarassed at the fact that Spot had seen her crying, she brushed some of the snowflakes off her pants, being careful to not move a lot unless it bothered Spot.
She tried to think of something to say. Doll had so many questions, but she didn't want to ask all of them at once. Staying quiet, she looked over her shoulder and looked at Spot, "You look tired," she stated quietly. Turning so she was on her knees, she took his chin in her fingers and gently moved his chin so she could see his face. Pushing his hat up gently with her other hand she looked at Spot's eyes. They were a type of blue that she loved. Even if Spot didn't like them, she did.
Kissing Spot lightly on the lips, she pulled away slowly, resting her forhead on his, whispering quietly, "I missed you." Doll moved her hands away from Spot slowly, and brought them to her lap, moving her eyes so they were looking at her hands, "I failed you. All those new newsies, they just... wouldn't be quiet. I went to Queens to for help, but ended up pushing one of their newsies off the roof of our lodge. I'm a horrible leader." Because of this, she felt like she couldn't look Spot in the eyes. She didn't deserve it.
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Post by Spot on Mar 23, 2010 9:25:56 GMT -5
Spot "Missed you. How was the meeting?"
But Spot could tell she wasn't interested in how the meeting was. She was crying. He had done it. He had made Doll cry. He had left her, with just a note. Ok, so even he knew that the note was the wrong thing to do. But he was in a hurry, he had to make it to Boston on time, and he was in a hurry. But he thought that Doll was ready. She was a better leader than he was. She knew how to talk to the newsies. She was the one who knew the newsies. He threatened. She convinced them that he was not a monster for being such a dictator. Doll was always his interpreter. She knew everything about every borough. Spot knew she could do it.
But she was crying, and It was all Spot's fault. He wrapped a arms around her, buried his head in her hair. She was beautiful and kind and sweet... Why couldn't he stop screwing up? He kept on breaking her heart, messing with her mind. Causing her stress. Why couldn't he be a good person?
Ok, and Spot was also lying to himself. He knew she would be up here. He was always up here after a long day of leading and guiding. He saw the traces of himself in her, and brushed her cheek, wincing. He had done this. He was still hurting her. She was pretending for him too. She was pretending to be nonchalant for him. Like she wasn't hurt. A snowflake landed on her face, and he brushed it away.
And so, knowing what he had done, he was careful to pick his words to prepare for what he felt he needed to say later. "I missed you too. I barely remembered that I was at a meeting. I was too busy missing you." Which was true. He had spent most of his time thinking about Doll. Sure he had gotten teased for being a daydreamer, but he soaked a good many boys while he was there for teasing him about dreaming bout a girl.
"You look tired,"
Spot winced. She was the one who looked tired. Her voice was cracking, like she was holding back tears. "Doll-" He started, but then she turned his head, and looked into her eyes. God, he thought she was beautiful. His hand ran through her hair, and a little smile, not his usual smirk that he chose instead of smiling, just for her.
She kissed him, and he kissed her back. He wondered how he had mustered up the audacity to leave her in charge of the crazy newsies of Brooklyn. No wonder she was so tired. He hugged her tighter, not wanting to let go. He was sorry. He repented. He didn't mean to hurt her.
"I failed you. All those new newsies, they just... wouldn't be quiet. I went to Queens to for help, but ended up pushing one of their newsies off the roof of our lodge. I'm a horrible leader."
Those words stung like a slap across the face. He hadn't even given Doll time to prepare herself. A scrawled note under her door and he was gone. How could he? What was he thinking? He hugged her tighter, pushing her face into his shoulder. She was his true love. He knew she would be up there. He was in love of her. He hugged her again. "You didn't fail. Trash trained me for forever. I didn't give you a chance to get ready. I'm sorry. Bt you know what?"
He looked at her. "You make me so proud." He kissed her forehead and smiled at her. "And your amazing. Doll... i love you."
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Post by Doll on Mar 23, 2010 19:03:03 GMT -5
DollWhen Spot wrapped his arms around her, Doll automatically felt a whole lot better. It was wonderful having him back, the best. Now it felt like Brooklyn was back together, it had it's king back. Spot had his hand on her face, not to hurt her, but it was there, when he brushed away the fallen snowflake she took his hand with her's, and looked at Spot. His hands felt warmer than hers. Maybe because he had been on a warm train, while she had been out on the roof while it was freezing out.
"I missed you too. I barely remembered that I was at a meeting. I was too busy missing you."
She felt blush creep onto her cheeks, Doll smiled a little, looking at Spot, "Really?" well, she had hoped he missed her, but he had missed her so much he almost could barely remember the meeting. In a way, that made her feel better. Most girls liked to know they were missed by their boyfriend, and Doll really wasn't that different from it. And it was even better that it sounded like Spot had actually meant it. That was a lot for him to say, well, for her it was. After all, he was a king.
So when Spot kissed her back, she felt like she was in heaven, and really wished she hadn't pulled back. Doll hugged him back just as tight, as if he would disappear if she let go of him. It was almost too good to be true that he was here, it just felt like he would disappear, and Doll would have to wait for him all over again. Sure, it was selfish for wanting him to stay with her forever, but she had missed him, she had realy, really, missed him.
"You didn't fail. Trash trained me for forever. I didn't give you a chance to get ready. I'm sorry. Bt you know what?"..."You make me so proud. And your amazing. Doll... i love you."
Doll looked Spot in the eyes, he said i love you. Her smile grew, "...I love you two Spot." Before he could respond she kissed him again, confirming how she felt for him. It was an extradornary feeling, love, and she felt it for Spot. It wasn't one of those brotherly loves, or one of those little crushes girls had on boys. The love she felt for Spot was one where she felt like she couldn't live without him. Sure, most girls thought they felt that way, but Doll knew she felt that way.
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Post by Spot on Mar 25, 2010 16:27:35 GMT -5
Spot "...I love you two Spot." Jesus he had been waiting to do this for a long time. Spot really had been lying to himself. He knew that she would be up here. He waited her to be up here because she would be crying, but because he had something to say. He needed to tell her something, and he was sure that the words that would come out of his mouth within the next couple of minutes would effect him for the rest of his life. Jesus, don't screw this up Spot. And now, he's wrapped around her finger Spot looked at Doll with a warm smile on his face. Honest to god, I ain't lying, he was smiling. And trust me, Spot never smiles, except for Doll. She was so beautiful, even while she was crying. He rubbed her cheeks. It was cold out. He didn't want her to get sick. It would be devastating to him. She got into enough bar-fights as it was. She didn't need to be getting sick. He cared about her too much for her to get sick. She's the center of his whole world Spot stood up from the edge, grabbing her hand delicately. He walked around so the he was facing her. He looked down a this feet. He had never felt nervous before. He had never need to. He never had anything riding on someone else like he had right now. And, lord, if she said no, he would jump off of the roof, he swore he would. And his heart belongs to that sweet, little, beautiful, wonderful, perfect He got down on one knee like he had seen the guys do in the flickers. He looked up at her and reached in his pocket. Where the hell was that thing. Don't tell em someone had stolen it on that train ride. Please don't. It wasn't even his, technically. It was his mother's and he had taken it from his father when he ran away. It was gold, with soft etching on the side, and a small diamond on the top of it. It was clear and bright, no matter how small it was, and he sighed in relief when he felt his finger scraped the top of it. All American girl "Doll... Would... Would ya marry me?" He dropped his eyes, flushed. [/size]
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Post by Doll on Mar 25, 2010 18:55:56 GMT -5
DollDoll smiled back at Spot. She liked his smile. Even though he never really smiled, it was still beautiful. Maybe it was because the only person he did smile for was her. It was nice, to have him smile for her, it was kind of like showing her he cared in a simple way. That's how it went, and how it would always be. Hopefully. When Spot took her hand and stood up, she followed suit, standing up also, wondering what was going on. 'Maybe he's cold,' she thought. She had to admit it was pretty cold.
When Spot looked down, she couldn't help but become curious. What would cause him to be so... nervous? "Spot why are you..." thats when she saw him go down on one knee. He wasn't.... he couldnt! But he was. Doll's mouth created an 'o' shape and she covered her mouth with her other hand. Sure, she had thought about it, because she loved Spot very much, but you couldn't propose to a boy, and she didn't want to face rejection from him. Rejection from Spot would have been awful for her.
But here he was, on one knee.
"Doll... Would... Would ya marry me?"
Doll could barely even speak, tears of happiness streamed down her cheeks. She finally choked out, "Of course Spot... I love you." She felt bad, for not saying more, but there were so many thoughts in her head that it didn't matter. So many thoughts were overlapping eachother. But the main one being, 'OH MY GOD I'M ENGAGED TO SPOT!' Laughing a little, she took her free hand and tilted Spot's head so she could look in his eyes.
"Spot, I'd marry you even if we were a whole lot younger." It didn't matter to her anyway. Hell if she was five she would have married him. She'd known him ever since she started selling, and she was glad to know him. But now, they were gonna get married. This was almost like a dream. Doll was happy it wasn't a dream though. She was very, very happy it wasn't a dream.
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Post by Spot on Mar 28, 2010 19:11:46 GMT -5
Spot
"Spot, I'd marry you even if we were a whole lot younger."
Spot looked up at her with a smile on his face like a small child on Christmas, but it only flashed for a second, and he pulled himself together in a heartbeat, but he instead hugged Doll. which was something he rarely did. He kissed her on the lips. "Really..." He took the ring and slipped it onto her finger, and, still blushing lightly, kissed her hand. He could barely believe he said yes. He wanted to dance all around Brooklyn. He wanted to tell everyone in the world that Doll had actually agreed to marry him. He wanted to dance from the top of a building. He wanted to write a article for the paper and send it all over the state of New york. He wanted to write it all over the World Distribution Center sign. He was going to marry Doll.
"I love you too Doll." [/size]
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Post by Doll on Mar 28, 2010 19:45:43 GMT -5
DollDoll kissed him back, looking at the ring he put on her finger. It was insanely beautiful.
"Really..."
"Really really," she replied kissing him. She felt happy. Insanely happy. Out of this world happy. The one smile she saw from Spot probably meant that he was just as happy as she was. Doll wrapped her arms around Spot's neck and rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat with her eyes closed. She was just full out happy. She sighed contently, happy for him to just be home.
"I love you too Doll."
"I love you more," she replied, still hugging him. This was nice. It may have been cold but was getting warmer. "Spot," she asked quietly, "When we gonna get married anyway?" Doll bet they'd probably have to get married in Queens to, since they had a church that liked newsies. Then she thought about everything else. She didn't have a dress, but maybe she could get help with that? Probably Moth, or Muse or maybe even Bear's girl Tootsie.
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Post by Spot on Mar 29, 2010 12:46:30 GMT -5
Spot Spot smiled at the reassurance from Doll. He hated the fact that he had tied Doll into this, and he almost completely regretted the proposal. He knew that Doll loved him, but he didn't know why. He wasn't one to be loved, and he usually wasn't kind towards people. This was the second time that he had hugged her. Only once had he actually cried since he left. Kissing her, he had done that several times, but lots of people kissed other people. They didn't even love some of the people they kissed. But Doll. Doll was an amazing beauty and he didn't know what he would do without her. But he didn't think he was the best thing for her. He was cold-hearted. "I don't know. The church would be practical, but some people like outside weddings." He smiled at Doll. "Whatever makes you happy." He looked at her hand, and remembered stealing that ring from his father the day he left. He had worn it on his pinky once, just in his room. I reminded him of his mother. It felt good to give it Doll. He needed to let it go.
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Post by Doll on Mar 29, 2010 19:23:03 GMT -5
Doll"I dont care if it's inside, outside, or somewhere I dont know of. Maybe the church in Queens? I dont care, I'd honestly get married anywhere," she responded. Doll felt drunk off of happiness, if that was possible. Looking over at the ring, she thought of how much it had to have cost Spot to buy it. Hopefully not a lot, she didn't want him to have wasted his money on her. "Spot? Where did you get this anyway? It's so beautiful."
It really looked like it cost a lot. She'd hate to have had him spend so much money. It wouldn't have been bad if he gave her anything really, she just loved Spot that much. But the ring, it honestly was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen. Maybe it was because it had a certain simpleness to it. Or because it just was full out beautiful. Spot was such a great guy sometimes, that Doll sometimes wondered why he never acted like that all the time. But, he was Spot, so he never had to act like that.
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Post by Spot on Apr 1, 2010 9:55:20 GMT -5
Spot
"I dont care if it's inside, outside, or somewhere I dont know of. Maybe the church in Queens? I dont care, I'd honestly get married anywhere,"
"I guess the church. Most practical thing to do. Since neither one of seem to care very much one way or the other." He looked out towards Queens. He wished he could get married today! But it'd be a good while till he could get married. Marriage is a complicated process. He knew that. He was dreading the wait, but loved her enough to wait. He smiled. Make that two times today.
"Spot? Where did you get this anyway? It's so beautiful."
"The ring was my mother's. My father gave it to her when they were 13. Told her no matter what, he was going to marry her. 4 years later, he actually did. When I left, I stole it. Figured it was mine to take. He threw it at me one day. I took it." He smiled. "I'm glad you like it." He smiled forlornly at the memory. Would she be proud of what he had become? Maybe. Guess I'll never know, he though.
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Post by Doll on Apr 2, 2010 20:19:54 GMT -5
"Spot I love it. It's really an honor to wear your mother's ring." The fact that Spot had given it to her was also something, but the fact that he had given her something that had belonged to someone else just made her feel amazing. Doll hugged Spot, resting her head on his shoulder. Closing her eyes, she was glad he was up here, cause she was still fairly cold from being outside for so long, and Spot felt warm, probably from being inside, so this was perfect for her. Who needed a coat when you could just hug Spot?
She noticed Spot was smiling more, which made her happy. For once, things looked like they were gonna get better. Maybe better than ever. The sun was shining, and it wasn't snowing as much, so she was happy that it wasn't anymore cold. In fact it was getting a bit warm now. Doll thought the weather was corresponding with how she felt. Happy, it wasn't as bad as it had been before. Or maybe the weather knew Spot was smiling. Yes, that was it, the weather knew Spot was smiling, so it had to be good.
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Post by Spot on Apr 3, 2010 18:57:43 GMT -5
Spot
"Spot I love it. It's really an honor to wear your mother's ring."
He smiled in a sad manner, and sat down on a crate. He stared at his feet, and then looked up at the horizon. It was beginning to get dark and colder than it was already, even though it was snowing already. He ran his hands through his hair and shook out some snow flakes at in from his hair. He closed his eyes and patted the crate beside him. "Doll. I gotta ask you something." He looked down at his feet and sighed.
"Doll. I know you said yes, but I feel awful. I love you, but... I'm not a good person. I push kids off roofs and hurt people. I curse people out and yell at them just they get on my nerves. And... I know couples get in fights, and I don't know what I would do if we got in a fight. But I just want to let ya know. Your not going to have a perfect marriage. It's a warning. Letting you know." He closed his eyes. He had to be sure he wasn't forcing her into anything.
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Post by Doll on Apr 3, 2010 20:08:49 GMT -5
Doll Listening to Spot say that, she thought about it. Pushing kids off of roofs... that was managable, she could handle that, cursing people out was something everyone did at least once, Doll knew she had before. Couples had fights she knew, so her and Spot weren't different, but with tempers to match... he was right, they didn't know what could happen. But at the moment, she just sat down next to Spot, looked at him, and nodded her head. "Spot, I've been your friend for a fairly long time, I'm not scared of you, and marrying you dont scare me either."
Doll sighed and looked at him, "You know, you deserve a whole lot better than me. I mean, you could have any dame on the whole planet, yet you chose me. I always thought," she laughed sadly, "I always thought you'd end up with some blonde hair blue eyed beauty, not some," she sighed, "Not some short girl who probably wont do much in life cause she can't read." Now it was Doll's turn to look down. She looked at her hands, noting her ink stained hands, and how they might as well have been all black.
Spot didn't need a girl who had ink stained hands. He deserved a girl who would need protection, who loved to wear skirts and dress up. Not some girl who cut her hair with a knife, spied on people and couldn't read to save her life. Doll felt like he could have done much better, but was happy he had chosen her. She was very happy, but sad he never got the dream girl every boy wanted in life. So, the question was, why had he chosen her, over so many other girls. Why her, a Brooklyn newsie, over some other dame.
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